I haven't talked with a whole lot of people about this journey Heather and I have been on, but I feel the time has come. I can honestly say that I never pictured myself or my family on this road dealing with this. But who does. There are times when I can't stop crying; times I feel so safe in God's unending hope, love and strength; times when I miss Gabby so much I could rip my heart out; times I hold my Bella and thank God for her life for literally what seems like a million times; times I sing to God as loud as I am able. But despite all of this, I have come to rely on and trust in God in ways I never understood before. There is no way, we could have made it through this without the Hope and Mercy God has shown us. Each day is a new adventure, a new way that God will show himself strong in our lives. The Creator of the universe caring for and helping me...I encourage you to meditate on that thought. God cares for you and is here to help you with anything going on in your life...amazing. I will be sharing on this blog more of this journey.
Father's Day was just here, and I wasn't exactly sure how I was going to feel. Mainly cause I think about Gabby alot. And I miss her everyday more than I know how to put into words. But with Father's Day coming...I just wanted to be ok. I spent the day with Heather and Bella just enjoying my family. There was such joy and peace. I remember waking up Sunday morning feeling so refreshed and strengthened. I closed my eyes, while sitting on the edge of my bed, "God, thank you for making me a dad. You are so good." At that moment, my entire being was flooded with peace and joy and life and hope. God is good. He is my hope.
I want to thank all of you who have been praying for us, and those of you who have shared your stories with us. I never knew so many people around me have experienced similar situations. We are so grateful for your continued prayers and support.
Please feel free to comment on this blog and send it to anyone. If you know someone going through the loss of a child or with an infant in the hospital, please send them the blog and you are welcome to give them our info. I pray that God will use us to minister His hope and healing to those who need it.
thank you for thinking of me, to share these thoughts of your heart, i only know to say i love you all very much, my heart to yours
ReplyDeleteDeborah
thank you for sharing your heart. i know that this will help give you peace. we are so proud of you guys. you are wonderful parents and friends. we will always continue to pray for you adn your family. although we never know God's plan for our futures, we know he has us all in the palm of his hand. we are never forgooten, and gabby will never be forgotten either. love you guys, katy stewart
ReplyDeleteI know that often Darlene and I both grieve over the loss of Gaby, reminded again and again of her; seeing a little baby, driving by the hospital, seeing the memo's of her memorial service, pictures on my computer (I haven't even opened them for quite some time.), talking about our grandchildren and remembering again that she isn't here with us and etc.
ReplyDeleteBut God did, does and will undoubtedly continue to sustain all of us. I too have thought over and over again about Isabella and the other smaller grandchildren, so eternally grateful that they are with us.
A few weeks ago, while I was playing kitchen with Bella, she mentioned her little sister and how she was with Jesus. Then she went right on playing. I didn't say anything to her but I thought it was so special and so significant.
As we go through life, I realize more and more that heaven is not only a very real place but that I have more and more beloved ones over there waiting on us. What in the world would we do without the hope of Jesus Christ and his eternal love and his gift of eternal life?
Thanks for doing this. It may be that I say little about her but I think of her so often...
Chris and Heather....This is so great. Thanks for inviting me to follow. Im honored. I firmly believe that God is going to use this tragedy to minister to others. I strongly encourage you to continue to blog--revisit some of your struggles since the loss of sweet Gaby and how God has met you in those times. I think the details will minister to others about God's faithfulness and His unending grace to meet us in times of suffering and bring us through those times to a place of peace and joy. I know it's not mamby-pamby---but the pain is real. I would write about it. People who have experienced ANY kind of loss will benefit from hearing your feelings and the way God has ministered to you. God bless you guys. I'm blessed by your faith.
ReplyDeleteI just want to let you guys know that I love you so much. You really are like parents and friends to me, but most importantly you two are two of the greatest examples that I have in my life of how great God is. You two teach me something new everytime I am with you, and for that, I thank you.
ReplyDeleteLove, Sarah
Chris, It's Johnathon Roach, Remember me? Long time. I looked you up and found this blog. I haven't spoken to you in years I know, but I read the first paragraph of this post and my heart sunk. I lost my Hannah in 2005 at only 20 hours old. Thinking about you my friend. Both of you hang in there. This is a journey that can only be made through love. Contact me if you need someone to talk to.
ReplyDeleteI remember that Thanksgiving morning I got the call about Gabriella and her going to see Jesus. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. As I was driving to see you and the family at the hospital, I thought about how you both must be feeling at that moment. I also thought about how Kendra and I would react if we were in your place in that situation, especially since Kendra was 5 months pregnant with our daughter Isabella.
ReplyDeleteWhen I saw you at the hospital that morning and throughout the following days,weeks,months,and even now, Kendra and I have seen the grace of God in such a tangible way in your lives. You may not know this, but that has spoke volumes to us. We have been moved and inspired by how you have walked this out and we are so glad you and Heather felt to start this blog. The grace you have experienced will flow to others as they relate to a personal storm in their own life.
Thanks for sharing with us.