Have you ever had one of those moments in life when there was a fork in the road? Sometimes we don’t always see those moments until after they have passed. Regardless, we all have those moments, and the choices we make determine the outcome of whatever we are going through. For us, this fork came very early in our journey...just shortly after being told that Gabby had gone to be with the Lord. This is our story of what happened that morning, and how we begin to receive healing from God.
Its was about 3:30am when I woke to my phone ringing, with Gabby’s Nurse on the other end telling me that she wasn’t doing very good and they wanted to let us know. We got up, got dressed, got Bella, and headed out. By the time we walked down to the car, the Nurse was calling again to make sure we were on our way. I was flooded with so many emotions and feelings on that car ride. There was no one else out on the roads, and it seemed like it took forever to get to the hospital. We prayed the whole way there, but I was still battling thoughts, and fear...it was so intense. We got to her room, and saw a huge crowd of doctors and nurses surrounding Gabby’s bed. Her Nurse saw us, and ran over to Heather crying and said, “She didn’t make it”, and grabbed Heather.
At that moment, I felt as if everything going on slowed to a stop. I could hear my heart beating so loud in my ears. My first thought was, ‘God where are you?’ I was completely unprepared for this moment. I had Bella asleep on shoulder, and I grabbed Heather, and started crying. I felt complete devastation and destroyed. I can’t tell you how long we stood there crying, cause it seemed like 50 hours.
At some point, I managed to call Heather’s mom, so they could come up, and she called Uncle Rod.
There is so much the devil attacks a person with in that moment, and I felt all of it. This is the worst moment of my life, what more suffering can a person handle. Aside from all the pain of losing my baby girl, I felt completely helpless to protect my wife from the pain she was going through. I can tell you, I felt completely alone. Totally. Like I was standing in the middle of a wasteland, screaming and no one could hear me. I remember saying, ‘God, help me!’ That was all I could muster. You see we knew the answer to pull us out, but we needed help to remind us of the answer.
Uncle Rod came in to the room with a Spirit of Peace and Authority. He grabbed us and prayed for us, and said he had a word for us. He read the scripture in 2 Samuel 12, when after David lost his son, dressed himself and ate. Uncle Rod said we needed to Worship God together and Thank Him for everything He has done. I knew he was right, but my flesh did not want to do that. In my worst moment in life he wants me to what?!?!
Well, right on cue, Uncle Rod looks at me and says ‘Chris lets sing.’ So....this is the fork in the road. Are you going to lift your voice and sing thanks to God, the Creator of the universe, or are you going to continue to spiral down and allow the enemy to bring more destruction and devastation. So we sang. “For You are Great! You do miracles so great. There is no one else like You. There is no one else like You!” We sang it over and over. It was so hard. But we sang and thanked God for His goodness. It was once we started singing that I felt the sting and pain of everything fade. I felt like God rushed in to the wasteland where I was and surrounded me and my family. We were safe and protected in worship and thanksgiving to God. I knew that this would be journey of healing, but I had peace, and comfort, and hope. I still cried, but they weren’t tears of agony any longer.
The only way Heather and I have been able to walk in healing and strength is through continual Thanksgiving and Worship to God. Its not always a song, sometimes its just thanking God through words. But no matter the circumstance or situation, God is worthy of our Praise. He is mighty to save and deserves our praise. By choosing to worship God in that moment, we turned our focus off of our own pain and suffering to the goodness and majesty of God.
I am not pretending to know all the answers and why things happen. Trying to answer those kind of question can cause so much confusion and pain and disbelief. We simply choose to not worry about all that but to solely focus on God. So be encouraged! When you get to your fork in the road, Worship God. Not for what is happening, but because of who God is.
One last thing, I thank God for sending Uncle Rod with that word. Lets be people that help point others to Thanking God for all He has done. We are the carriers of His Hope to those suffering. It wont always be easy, but Worship will be the first step past the fork in the road.
